KindMindbyDana

‘I don't have time for self-care activities - I mean, I would love to do it, but I have so much work and responsibilities to finish first’. If this statement resonates with you, then this blog is for you. It's understandable to prioritize work and responsibilities, but neglecting self-care activities can lead to burnout and fatigue. You might even experience feelings of guilt or unworthiness when taking time off for yourself. Let's start by understanding the internal dialogues and the thoughts that are running through your mind when it comes to self-care. Why is it tough for you to do things like going for a walk, hitting the gym, taking a break, signing up for a dance class, or disconnecting from the chaos of endless meetings and to-do lists? Is it the ‘Selfish voice’ or the ‘Taskmasker voice’? Take a second, close your eyes and visualize it. The Selfish voice might sound like this  ‘You’re not worthy enough to spend time on doing things you want to do’, ‘How could ...

Let me start by extending my warm wishes to people who are celebrating Eid futr!  Today we will talk about the other side of the story- the stress and anxiety that often accompany the holiday seasons. During holidays, we might feel the pressure to be happy and to make the most out of these special days. There are expectations of excitement, fun activities, and breaking from our usual routines. It's no wonder why we wish each other a 'happy holiday' - because that's what we hope to experience. When it comes to Eid, everyone experiences it in their own way.  Some people may feel sad because they're missing loved ones who have passed away or live far away and can't be there to celebrate together. Plus, on Eid, families usually get together, and that can mean seeing relatives that you haven't seen in a long time. They might ask you a lot of questions that make you uncomfortable or talk about topics that you don't want to discuss. Not to forget about the ...

Would you rather never feel the pain of losing someone, knowing that you will never feel love again? Sometimes, when someone tells us to 'accept' our difficult feelings, it can sound like they're saying we should just give up and let those feelings take over.  But that's not what acceptance really means. Acceptance is about recognizing how we feel and what we're thinking, without trying to push those feelings away or ignore them.  It's like saying, 'Yes, this is tough, and it's okay to feel upset about it.' In the context of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), acceptance refers to the capacity to acknowledge our thoughts and emotions instead of avoiding or suppressing them. It involves being aware of our feelings and thoughts without judgment and allowing ourselves to experience them. For example, if we lose someone we care about, accepting our feelings might mean acknowledging that it hurts and talking about how we're feeling with others...

Although others may romanticize it, accepting ourselves is a challenging task. Imagine waking up feeling down and realizing you have plans to catch up with your friends over coffee. You suggested this meet-up last month to spend quality time together, but now you don't feel like going. You look at yourself in the mirror and start criticizing your appearance, thinking  'Why did I wear this shirt? I should have gone to the gym last week. I don't want to talk about my relationship problems because nobody will understand.' As you continue getting ready, these negative thoughts persist and you start blaming yourself for having them. It can feel like falling down a never-ending hole of negativity. Think about how your hangout with friends would go in this situation. You might already feel tense as you make your way there, and by the time you arrive, your guard is already up. And guess what? You can't handle any questions about your work, your partner, or even your mor...

How to know where to meet your child when they are struggling with emotional or special educational needs and difficulties? In theory, the answer may seem straightforward: accept and support your child. However, in my experience working with parents, it can be much more challenging when it's your own child who is struggling. It's natural to question yourself and wonder if you did something wrong. It's common to ask yourself, 'Why is my child struggling? Is it just a phase or something I'll have to deal with forever?' . It can even be tempting to avoid the situation altogether and live in denial. I can imagine how challenging it can be for parents to accept their child's special needs or mental health difficulties. It's common to feel overwhelmed and unsure about how to provide the best care for your child. Before discussing how to support our children, it's important to address the insecurities that parents may feel. It's only natural that we ...

Our mind may try to move on, but our body would never forget. Let me tell you a story about a little boy who used to hide in his room when his parents were fighting. The sound of their screaming and yelling would make his heart race, and he would feel an overwhelming sense of fear wash over him. At such a young age, he couldn't fully comprehend what was happening, but he knew something was wrong as he asked himself ‘Could it be my fault? Will someone get hurt? Is there anything I can do to fix this?'. These memories stayed with him, etched in his mind like a permanent marker. Even when his parents made up, and everything seemed to go back to normal, his brain's alarm system remained on high alert. The amygdala, the part of our brain that senses danger, continued to be triggered by even the slightest indication of distress or fear, whether at home, in school, university, or in relationships. ‘Why they are not responding to me? Did I do anything wrong?’ – he might wonde...

Unpopular opinion: As you grow, some friendships may go offstage.  It is not because you are 'losing people' or 'cutting them off'. This happens more naturally as you are growing, expanding, and shifting your focus to new priorities that matter to you. And most importantly, that align with your identity and purpose. Some people would still have a place in your heart, and you might decide to check on them and catch up from time to time, but this does not mean that you should necessarily allocate your time and energy to invest in them regularly. Erik Erikson, the very well-known German-American developmental psychologist and psychoanalyst, suggested it is a normal stage of development to focus on relationships that are most important to us and we may have less time or energy to maintaining a large network of friends as we move into adulthood. We may prioritize other responsibilities such as our career, the family we are creating and our personal growth, which can lead to...