Overcoming Eid Blues

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Let me start by extending my warm wishes to people who are celebrating Eid futr! 

Today we will talk about the other side of the story- the stress and anxiety that often accompany the holiday seasons.

During holidays, we might feel the pressure to be happy and to make the most out of these special days. There are expectations of excitement, fun activities, and breaking from our usual routines. It's no wonder why we wish each other a 'happy holiday' - because that's what we hope to experience.

When it comes to Eid, everyone experiences it in their own way. 

Some people may feel sad because they're missing loved ones who have passed away or live far away and can't be there to celebrate together.

Plus, on Eid, families usually get together, and that can mean seeing relatives that you haven't seen in a long time. They might ask you a lot of questions that make you uncomfortable or talk about topics that you don't want to discuss.

Not to forget about the comments that we might hear and the feedback, that would be still genuine, but might trigger us. After all, when someone compliments your body after losing weight, and they don’t know that you have been struggling with depression and low appetite, you might not really feel flattered.

When it comes down to it, we can only control certain things in life. 

There are some simple strategies we can use to enjoy our time with others without feeling emotionally exhausted.

  1. Set boundaries: I want to make it clear that setting boundaries doesn't mean you have to be rude or aggressive. Not at all! When you set boundaries, you're simply letting people know what topics you're comfortable talking about. You can be clear, kind, and even playful! For example, if your 70 year-old auntie asks you about your love life and you feel uncomfortable sharing details with her, you can redirect the conversation by talking about something else. You could say something like, 'Let's talk about something else', 'How about I tell you about the latest meal I tried to make? My friends couldn't believe it was my recipe!' Or, you could ask her about her recent trip to Italy and hear all about it. The key is to steer the conversation in a direction that works for you.

  2. Connect spiritually: It can be really tough when we want to be with someone special on a holiday, but we can't. If you've lost a parent, significant other, partner, or friend, it's normal to feel like you're missing them a little extra on these days. But remember, that's okay! It just means that you still hold a special place for them in your heart, and that's a beautiful thing. One way to deal with those feelings is to write them a letter! You could express your emotions and recall some of the nice moments you've shared in the past on similar holidays. You could also share things that you think they would have enjoyed like seeing your Eid outfit, meeting your new partner, or trying the delicious food you're enjoying. It's a great way to honor their memory and keep them close to your heart.

  3. Identify triggers and seek support: One way to manage stress during the holidays is to make a list of topics, people, or places that might trigger you based on your own experiences and self-awareness. Once you have your list, be mindful of these triggers throughout the day. Take a few deep breaths and practice mindfulness if you can't avoid them. For example, if you have a family member that you find difficult to be around, try to be present and reflect on why they might be triggering you. What is it about them that bothers you? What does this tell you about what you value in others? This could be a valuable opportunity for self-reflection and personal growth. Don't be afraid to reach out for support from your loved ones if you're feeling overwhelmed. Talking to someone you trust- like your siblings, cousins or a close family friend- can help you feel more grounded and less stressed in the moment.

  4. Plan your time wisely: Although Eid could traditionally be a day for spending time with family, it's important to remember that you can also make time for yourself too. It's okay to schedule some quality time with your partner, friends, or even just yourself! Maybe you've been wanting to try a yoga class, or you have a favorite hobby that you haven't had time for lately. Today is your day off, and you deserve to enjoy it however you want. Remember, it's important to take care of yourself and do things that make you happy.

Take home message:

We yearn to feel and belong, and Eid is a beautiful chance for us to reconnect. That is a lesson that Covid quarantine has taught us the hard way, right? Spare some time today to really think of someone whom you haven't spoken to in some time, but whom you genuinely value and who has consistently been a source of support for you.

Why not use this Eid as a chance to get in touch with them by calling or texting them?💗

Yours truly,

Dana

Kindness is not just a virtue, it's a way of life. 

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