Turn Your Self-care Saboteurs into Allies

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‘I don't have time for self-care activities - I mean, I would love to do it, but I have so much work and responsibilities to finish first’.

If this statement resonates with you, then this blog is for you.

It's understandable to prioritize work and responsibilities, but neglecting self-care activities can lead to burnout and fatigue. You might even experience feelings of guilt or unworthiness when taking time off for yourself.

Let's start by understanding the internal dialogues and the thoughts that are running through your mind when it comes to self-care.

Why is it tough for you to do things like going for a walk, hitting the gym, taking a break, signing up for a dance class, or disconnecting from the chaos of endless meetings and to-do lists?

Is it the ‘Selfish voice’ or the ‘Taskmasker voice’?

Take a second, close your eyes and visualize it.

The Selfish voice might sound like this ‘You’re not worthy enough to spend time on doing things you want to do’, ‘How could you possibly have the nerve to take care of yourself knowing that other people are struggling?’

Now Ask yourself, ‘What happens when you hear this voice? What is this in the service of? how do you act next?'

Maybe you back it up with the many reasons of why you shouldn’t do what you want to do or what you like to do- you intellectualize your way out of it. This is when you think ‘I value others and I want to be part of that too’.

The Taskmasker voice would tell you that ‘You have to do it now, there is no time to waste. Rest comes later, once you earn it you can have it. You have deadlines to meet and obligations to commit to. Can you really afford wasting an hour for this yoga class? I think your 30-minutes meditation can come later in June’.

No matter what this voice is, it is definitely not getting your closer to where you want to be. 

Remember, Self-Caring is Self-Valuing.

When you take care of yourself and engage in activities that promote your wellbeing and health, you are reminding yourself every day that ‘You matter’.

It might seem very tough to ignore the voices in your head that make you feel like you have to put other people or tasks before your own needs. These voices could be coming from old memories of hard times and struggles that taught you to always prioritize things before yourself.

Truth is, that was adaptive at some point, but it is not the general rule. Even though our mind claims that it knows everything- it doesn’t.

So, how can we deal with these voices?

Think of yourself as driving a car on a fun road trip, with passengers sitting in the back seats. You can hear their voices and you should let them join in on the journey.

But remember, you are the one in control of the car and they are just along for the ride.

Even when they are talking, you will continue your ride and you will not be interrupted or intimidated by them.

You are now accepting them because these voices are familiar voices, they could have helped you in the past and even now, they might have a genuine intention to protect you!

However, they do not serve your current purpose. 

You are now committed to the ride of ‘self-care, self-valuing and self-worth’ and no matter what happens, you will continue to reach your destination.

Take home message:

Here are some easy and simple ideas that you can try out this week. Just check off the ones that you like and are willing to do:

  • Treat yourself as kindly as you treat other people. If this sounds hard to you, I suggest that you read my article on  Self-Acceptance 😊
  • Take time to devote to yourself, even if it’s just a few hours during the week, by doing things like taking a walk or preparing your favorite meal! (I enjoy baking a cake and sharing it with my beloved ones) 🎂
  • Go someplace beautiful, like a park, the ocean,  the mountains, a museum, or a mall! (Personally, I enjoy taking a walk at the park during sunset)🌞
  • Take time to do things for your own life, like shopping, errands, doctor’s appointments, and so on (My self-care routine can range from booking a manicure appointment to checking in with my gastroenterologist!)💅

Yours truly,

Dana

Kindness is not just a virtue, it's a way of life. 

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