Posts

Showing posts from March, 2023

How Does It Feel to Have a Partner Who Struggles With Anxiety?

‘Life starts only when the hurtful and heavy thoughts and feelings are resolved', 'I will feel good only when I get a raise, buy this house, or get that car...' - A misconception that most people have.  We learned to label our feelings as either ‘good ’ or ‘bad’. We consider happiness  a good feeling while sadness or worry as a bad feeling. We also tell ourselves that sadness could lead to depression, right? Truth is, every feeling has a place; it needs to be felt. Things might get more complicated when the person who is struggling with these unpleasant feelings and thoughts, is someone dear to us like our partner or a close friend. How does it feel to have someone who struggles with anxiety and how can we support them? It is common to feel the pressure or intuition to rescue our beloved ones who struggle with anxiety, to tell them that they are loved and appreciated and that their negative thoughts don't make sense. As simple and straightforward as it sounds to us, t...

What Happens When Therapists Need Therapy?

Waking up with anxiety can be a difficult experience, especially for mental health professionals such as psychologists, psychiatrists, coaches, and therapists, who are often relied upon as the 'go-to person' for individuals struggling with anxiety and other difficult emotions. Consider this situation: You have a busy day ahead with multiple clients, meetings, and a family dinner to attend later. As you glance at your schedule, you begin to feel a sense of apprehension or fear, and your mind may start to race with negative thoughts and worries 'I won't be able to make it to dinner, this is the third time I cancel. I should not have taken seven appointments today, I don't think I can make it. I need to prepare for this meeting. I don't know what is wrong with me, I feel overwhelmed.' Physical symptoms like sweating, a rapid heartbeat, and difficulty breathing are also common. Most of us have been experiencing an increase in distress and anxiety today for many...

Attached For Life: Understanding Your Attachment Language

Relationships are not easy. They trigger our most fundamental insecurities, and activate our deepest self-doubts. This does not have to be as scary or bad as it sounds. In fact, relationships are exciting; they teach us about ourselves more than any other experience.  Understanding our attachment style holds the key to unlocking the full potential of our relationships. Many people find themselves in toxic relationships’ cycles and loops, thinking that they are ‘unlucky’ or ‘helpless’ when it comes to choosing partners. This is not true. When we notice and acknowledge our behaviors and thinking patterns, we can identify our attachment style which was developed based on our first relationship ever, which is our relationship with our parents!  According to the attachment theory which was first developed in the 1950s (Ainsworth & Bowlby, 1991 ), and which is still supported by many theories today, our relationship with our parents determines our attachment style which is again...

What Does It Take to End Pain?

Do you know those people who seem like they have it all? They look happy, successful and easygoing. How many times have you asked yourself ‘Why can’t I be happy like them? Why do I always have it the hard way? Why others don’t suffer the way I suffer?’. Truth is, they do, just like you. Everybody has felt sadness, anxiety, guilt, and shame. We all have embarrassing memories, difficult feelings, failures and heartbreaks. Still, we wear a smile and show up as if everything is okay. Pain is universal, and people deal with it differently. This does not mean that you are doomed to suffering. In fact, pain and suffering are two different things. For instance, suffering comes from the latin word ‘ferre’ which means to carry. The prefix ‘suf’ means ‘from below up’. In other words, suffering connotes the idea that there is a burden that you are unable to carry away. That is is more than pain alone. When you accept your pain, you can start to develop a new relationship with it; one that is b...

Healthy Compromise in Relationships

It is common to hear that compromise is necessary for a successful relationship to thrive. This is partially true, because one should be clear on what they can compromise. Staying true to your values is crucial for personal fulfillment and happiness. So when you compromise, find a solution that respects both you and your partner's needs, without betraying your own principles. Or else, you will find yourself blaming your partner for making you do things or take decisions that you did not want to consider. You may also find yourself resenting them or engaging in passive aggressive communication styles. For example, suppose you value your alone time and independence, while your partner wants to spend all their free time together. An unhealthy compromise would be for you to always give up your time alone to please them even though it goes against your personal needs and desires. In the short term, this compromise may make your partner happy, but over time, it can lead to feelings of...

I am Whole, Complete, Valid and Perfect

 'I am Whole, Complete, Valid and Perfect' What happens to your mind when you read these words? I am inviting you to notice the quality of your automatic thoughts at this moment. Next, find something that is FREE and DISCONNECTED from your history. The point is to escape the quality of automaticity. Did your mind jump to tell you 'No, you're not?', or you simply remembered one time that you actually felt like a whole, or perhaps incomplete. Again, notice these thoughts, and go back to this moment; You, reading this sentence, while sitting on a chair or maybe walking to your next session. 'I am Whole, Complete, Valid and Perfect'. Notice what is NOT automatic after you hear this. Notice 'who is noticing'; You are not your thoughts, your memories and whatever happened to you. See yourself as someone in the train passing through different places. In fact, You are not your feelings; your feelings are IN you. This sense of inclusion is very powerfu...