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Between loss and grief, there is life.

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Between loss and grief, there is life. And it took me time to accept that. I’ve studied grief and learned the psychology behind it- everything from the Kübler-Ross model to what I’ve seen with my clients in therapy, and of course, what I’ve experienced myself. Grief is bottled-up love that can no longer be expressed, either because the person, place, or connection is out of reach - or gone entirely. I’ve experienced grief throughout my life and often reminded myself that the pain is temporary. But only recently have I truly understood that suffering is an inseparable part of life. It cannot be avoided, and it often shows up when we least expect it. I never imagined I would be unable to return to my house- my bedroom, my balcony. This fear, something I never acknowledged before, was unlocked in the past few months. I grew up hearing stories about war, and I even lived through the 2006 war. Back then, thanks to my still-developing frontal cortex, I mostly remembered the moments of...
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Adult Friendships: how to make and maintain!

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Adult friendships aren’t as straightforward and easy to make as we wish them to be. Truth is, as adults, we need to have the intention and put in the effort to make and maintain these friendships. As children, making friends was easier because we spent more time together in school, neighborhoods, or even within our families (we call this in psychology the proximity effect). Not only that, but these encounters made us experience and share vulnerability as we unintentionally went through many difficult and meaningful moments together (Remember the stress before exams or the joy of being on the same football team?). These factors are essential for building the foundations of friendships - meaningful and deep connections. Did you know that adults who believe friendships don’t need effort reported feeling lonelier after 5 years compared to those who understand the effort required? So, Show up to the volunteering groups. Make time to have coffee with your friends. Say yes to the reun...
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The Neuroscience Behind Taking A Break

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In our fast-paced world, we often feel the need to constantly be doing something productive.  But what if I told you that sometimes, the best thing you can do for your mind and body is... NOTHING? According to science, taking breaks and allowing ourselves moments of doing nothing can significantly enhance our well-being.  Here’s why: Mental Rejuvenation : Our brains need downtime to process information and consolidate memories. Doing nothing gives our minds the space to recharge and reset. Stress Reduction : Moments of stillness can reduce cortisol levels, helping to lower stress and anxiety. It’s a natural way to soothe the nervous system. Creativity Boost : Still moments allow our minds to wander, fostering creativity and problem-solving skills. Some of the best ideas come when we least expect them! Improved Focus : Taking regular breaks and doing nothing for a while can improve our concentration and productivity when we return to our tasks. Default Mode Network Activ...
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Note To Self: You Will Never Have This Version of Yourself Again

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We often notice that we have different selves; we might be silly with friends, romantic with partners, shy in public, and confident at home. This is normal. The more aware we are, the more we explore these different selves, allowing them to be. We refine and tune our behaviors to align with what we want while accepting the flaws we can't change. Many of us think we are self-aware. However, only a few truly are. There are simple and effective ways to improve our self-awareness: Mindfulness Meditation: Regular practice helps you observe your thoughts and emotions without judgment (also known as cognitive defusion in ACT). Journaling: Writing about your thoughts and experiences reveals patterns and insights. Self-Reflection: Regularly reflect on your actions and decisions to enhance self-understanding. Mindful Breathing: Focus on your breath to become more aware of your physical and emotional states. Cognitive Reframing: Practice noticing and changing negative thought pattern...
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Do You Work Under Pressure?

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Ever written down 'works well under pressure' on your resume? Been there, done that. Truth is, it's a short-term fix, not a sustainable strategy. Despite the constant talk of optimization and thriving in the workplace, the reality is shocking. According to a Harvard Business Review study, only 32% of employees worldwide say they're thriving, while nearly 43% are facing daily stress levels that could lead to burnout. So, before you claim 'working under stress' as a badge of honor, pause and ask yourself: ‘Is this really a strength, or just a coping mechanism learned the hard way?’ As therapists, we can't guarantee our clients won't face tough managers, challenging projects, or overwhelming to-do lists. Our emphasis lies in helping them recuperate from stress, not just tolerate it. So, what exactly is recuperation? It's the art of recovering and bouncing back from stress. Imagine this: You've got a massive presentation next week. Its outcome could...
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Don’t tell your child to ‘Man Up’

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Don’t tell your child to ‘Man Up!’   Instead of telling your child to ‘man up’ you should tell them: speak up Cry it out I am here for you Or else, they will grow up to be men who do not know how to express their feelings, struggle with recognizing their emotions or even feel ashamed to address them. If you find it difficult to manage your feelings, or communicate them or you know someone who does, it is okay. We are all work in progress, and the key is to know that these are skills that can be worked on and developed. Did you know? Men report significantly lower life satisfaction than women 73% of adults who ‘go missing’ are men Men are nearly three times more likely than women to become alcohol dependent Men make up 95% of the prison population 72% of male prisoners suffer from two or more mental disorders Men are nearly 50% more likely than women to be detained and treated compulsorily as psychiatric inpatients Men have measurably lower access to the social supp...
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Reframing Life: From Hustle to Embracing the Pause

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Instead of  'do your best,' how about 'do nothing and just be?' Yes, you heard it right. As I reflected recently, I realized that I appreciate the power of contentment and simplicity. This mindset shift started when my husband and I were having an amazing dinner at a cozy restaurant in Amsterdam.  It had six tables, maybe fewer. When we asked the owner why he didn’t expand and make it bigger, he surprised us.  This wasn’t a new startup; it had been around for ten years!  He simply said, “No need, we enjoy it small. Sometimes we add a few tables when we feel like it”. This got me thinking. In times when we push ourselves and others to always strive, be the best, be unstoppable, active all the time, planning, creating, and exploring (which is technically still work), I started to appreciate the times when we just sit and do nothing. Get bored. Draw to enjoy, not to master it. Write to express, not to become a writer. Study to learn, not to get a certification....
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