The Waiting Myth
How many times have you heard someone say:
- I will start tomorrow.
- I will eat healthy on Monday.
- I will start cooking next month.
- I will give my family more time next semester.
Can you relate?
I certainly do, as I'm promising myself to cut off coffee in March.
Why do we have this tendency?
Throughout my ACT studies, I've learned about our yearning for competence- a universal human need.
We often wait for the 'perfect time,' thinking we must be in control of our environment by controlling our behavior.
👼As children, did we set such high standards when learning to talk, walk, or stand through trial-and-error learning?
Dr. Hayes used to say ‘We need to put our mind on a leash’ to focus on what's truly important and act accordingly to build competence!
This emphasizes the commitment to pattern building of values-based habits (my favorite topic in ACT).
However, a larger building does not mean huge!
The pattern choice is to commit 100%!
Even if a slip happens, I come back to creating this pattern again.
There's no 'perfect time' to start doing what's important for us.
⏰Time is not the key component.
What truly matters is knowing our values and sticking to patterns of behaviors - even when the mind doesn't encourage us or we don't feel motivated enough.
Making a commitment is about choosing to move in a direction guided by our values, not goals.
To be effective, this commitment needs to be a 100% commitment.
Take home message:
There will be times when we slip, and that’s okay if we then:
✨Center ourselves in consciousness
✨Remember our values
✨Again commit 100%
What helps you stick to your habits when you are busy, stressed or distracted?
If you find yourself struggling to process hard feelings or connect with yourself, don't hesitate to reach out and send me a message or an email on kindmindbydana@gmail.com 😊
Yours truly,
Dana Berri
Kindness is not just a virtue, it's a way of life.
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