The Power of Values: How They Guide Us Beyond Goals to Shield Trauma & Distress

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Ever found yourself at a loss when asked about your passions or hobbies? 

Well, discovering your core values can be just as tricky! 

Don't worry, because today I will help you decode the essence of values and delve into straightforward exercises that will unveil these gems you hold within!

#1 Value-exploration exercise:

Pick a values' area you want to work on – say family, education or work.

Think back to a specific event, day, or moment in that area that made you feel really happy, connected or full of energy.

It could be a moment when everything seemed to be going well, or when you felt supported, confident and loved.

Ask yourself:

-Who else was with you?
-What were you doing?
-How did you feel or what were you thinking about?

Now, as you think about that special moment, think about what it says about the qualities to bring into the world through your actions.

By increasing our awareness of such experiences, we allow ourselves to establish a connection with the things we aspire to manifest.

#2 Value-exploration exercise:

Another strategy that I like, is thinking of someone you admire and look up to.

This person could be your aunt, father, neighbor, family friend or even a famous actor, scientist or president.

When you think of this “role model”, what comes to your mind? What do you admire about them? Is it their kindness, style, wealth, education, way of thinking or the principles they stand for?

No matter what stood up to you and made you appreciate them, is what you value.

Take a moment to connect with yourself. 

Can you observe this value resonating in your speech, thoughts, or behavior? How does it manifest?

This simple exercise of introspection offers a gateway to uncovering the depths of your heart's desires. 

I am not reading your mind. You are.

People think that psychologists read your mind. In fact, psychologists facilitate your own self-growth and discovery by helping you ask and answer the right questions.

It is very important to always remind ourselves of what matters to us especially when we are facing hard times and distress. These values are our compass and the ground we stand on when life storms get hard.

They are not goals or tasks that we have to complete in the futures, or things that we should have done in the past.

Values themselves are in the present because they are intrinsic to behaviors, and committing to them starts the moment that you own them, choose, and embrace them.

In simpler words, a value is always:

-Immediate – It starts at the moment you choose to embrace it.

-Present – It is intrinsic to how you behave right now.

-Unending – It is unending to how you will continue to behave.

By connecting to our values at these tough times, we can maintain a sense of coherence and meaning.

I am not saying that tough times should always make sense.

Life can be filled with hurdles that might rupture your mental state, and sometimes, this pain that might come up is inevitable. 

It is important to know that mental health challenges are very real, and seeking psychological support can be mundane during such timings.

In fact, I was reflecting the other on how old patterns tend to resurface, making it crucial for us to recognize them, especially in times of distress, and the choices we have to consciously make in these tough moments.

Our wounds and past traumas are not something we actively sought out, yet the way we behave now and our personal healing journey are undoubtedly our own responsibility.

This responsibility extends not only to ourselves but also to the people we love and care about.

It is up to us to choose the kind of person we want to be.

Take home message:

Remember that values and goals are completely different.

When you pursue a life based on values, you won’t arrive at a destination, because it’s a journey that doesn’t end.

This is because a value is a quality that you keep showing in the way you behave, over and over again!

What is one thing you can do today to bring you closer to what you value?

In my case, writing this blog aligns with my deep appreciation for learning and sharing valuable content 💓

I hope this resonates with you!

Yours truly,

Dana Berri

Kindness is not just a virtue, it's a way of life. 

 


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